I lived in North Korea

At the turn of the new Millennium, when I was 10, I learned that, it turns out, Korea is divided into 2 pieces: the Northern and southern. When my father announced that we were going to live in Korea, I was delighted. Well, of course! Developed country, sea, ocean, culture, is all a child attracted badder than new cartridges for Sega. And then I found out that we’re going into another Korea.

Tell me, dear to my heart the reader, do you know what the second name is proudly North Korea? No, not the DPRK. Or rather Yes, but no. It is also called “the land of morning calm”. Nice, right? And that’s part of it. I have been in many countries (more often by accident than on their own), but such a pristine and beautiful nature never seen. I think except for Kamchatka. The air there is so pure that his hungry mouth, like a fish on land, and to require supplements. This air made even the most filthy kebab piece of art, because he could easily be replaced with spices and sauce. Speaking of art. Such landscapes, Shishkin would have gone crazy being there! What do you like, dear reader? Mountains? Please this stuff in bulk. Sea? Receive and sign for it. Sandy/rocky/wild beach? Easily! Forest? They are everywhere! However crazy you can go there not only impressionable romantics, but more on that later. First the good.

Kitchen. I love food, and it’s mutual. So love the food may only bachelor, conscript or drunk girl. In Korea, as indeed in most Asian countries, I love spicy food. Sometimes, traveling on the road through the village, looking out the window from boredom, and have a rotten, crumbling huts are brand new, just painted in bright red roof. Look closely, and it’s because they are hot red peppers dried in the sun. Then pepper could easily be the currency! When my mom bought it at the grocery store, she asked for 300 gr. High frequency saleswoman laughed. Must be exactly the same prostitutes laugh when clients are starting to talk about love. And explained to us what exactly they have in the store sell bags of 5 kg, but, so be it, we Tsypin you the keys. KILO RED HOT CHILI PEPPER! This is not a children’s seasoning that you pick up in the store, it’s not even wasabi mustard. Flame this flame, stolen from the earth, dried and ground to dust to hurt people! But North Korea is a country of contradictions. And I will now explain.

The Koreans eat Kim-Chi, maybe you know it. Typically, this flap of cabbage or radish, wrapped in a thick roll. Before spinning this roll, smear it santimetrovy (I’m not kidding) a layer of a special mixture. I know exactly what is in a mixture of peppers, onions and garlic, but I think there still is present the sulfuric acid, metal shavings and old Jewish curse, because once you put a piece of food in your mouth, you begin to want to live. The eyes roll, the face doing a purple-pink (beautiful color, very he was our caretaker), often begin to breathe, to rush, to Moo, to wheeze and to drink vodka that killed the sharpness. But in vain. For the future: when Kim Chi you will save the usual green tea. Or chocolate. Now, somehow came to the Embassy a new man, he was taken to a restaurant to celebrate his arrival, gave Kim Chi and forgot to warn him to be careful. But uncle, hereditary Kozak, 120 pounds of body weight, shoved the whole roll into his mouth and swallowed without chewing. And found.

– Them*myself. – someone said at the table.

And uncle, by the way, suffered from gastritis. Now I will report to you, the reader: uncle, slightly breaking the restaurant survived and moreover, never suffered from gastritis. There’s your contradiction.

Still, as you know, in Korea they love dog meat. In fact, they love all that is possible there because there is nothing. This is to say that in Russia, like the leather straps, because they ate during the siege of Leningrad? So they eat any meat. And cats too, so we in the Embassy were about 30 Koskinen heads in winter and spring up to 50 head. From all of Pyongyang came to us (in other embassies cats are not kept). Now.

(Not for the weak of mind). Meat to the dogs howled soft and tasty, it must be impregnated with blood. To do this, dogs are beaten with sticks periodically. This kennel was concrete fence across from our Embassy. Sitting like this on the tennis court, looking at the stars (starry sky there, guys! Throughout the city there is no electricity, no lights, so the stars are so clearly visible that it is possible to explore the universe without telescopes), and then start those same sounds that you, dear reader, are. And once all of our Embassy invited to the reception to eat dog meat. Children not picked up, so we waited at home all day. Later my father told me that every 5 minutes of screen periodically popping to the toilet somebody’s Russian wife. The men kept a stiff upper lip. Soviet stomachs digested and soup made from dog rind, and sausages from the intestines of the dog, and the dog rice with giblets. In short, all ate. Because it was impossible not to eat, sit on the left and right in Korean, each unsuspecting of spying. Better not to attract attention. Because once the second person after the Ambassador had gone for a couple of days and then resurfaced. This Ramenki, sinatech, small bruises. But more on that another time if need be. And, as I pressed Kim Jong-Il’s arm, I almost died young (these things are not related to each other), what are the Korean holidays and a lot of other stories that happened to me in Korea for 3 years of living there. Bye!

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